Secrets to Becoming More Confident and Having Better Sex

There is a distinct lack of confidence in a lot of young men and women these days. We can blame it on the sheltered modern lifestyle, a lack of social skills or the fact that some prefer the escapism afforded to them by video games and the internet to reality. Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter, what is important is that we have plenty of men and women with low self-respect that affects their social encounters, relationships and sex life. There are, however, some relatively simple ways of improving your confidence and having a much more satisfying love life as a result.

Exercise your body

Before we go any further, it is important to note that there are plenty of people who are satisfied with how they look, and can project enough confidence and charisma to impress potential partners, despite having weight issues or not conforming to certain high societal standards of beauty. The problem is that such naturally confident people are fairly rare, and most of us have to battle inner demons that keep telling us that we are not good enough. A simple, basic training regimen will do wonders for your health, while making you feel better about yourself.

Anyone can make a significant improvement to the way they look and feel within as little as six months if they are ready to work hard. Not only will a more toned body make you feel confident and comfortable with your clothes up, but it will also allow you to hold sexual positions longer and become more versatile in bed. Your partner will encourage the positive change, and you can use the compliments to gauge your progress – just don’t let them go to your head, and keep on improving.

Be comfortable with the way you look

Working out relatively regularly can help immensely, but many of the people involved in fitness tend to have some serious body-image issues and even develop eating disorders. This is why it is important to deal with the psychological aspect of self-improvement as well. You need to understand that your partner feels a connection to you that goes beyond the mere physical, and they can find you sexy even though you may not feel that way. Whenever you come out of the shower, take the time to look at your body in the mirror for a few minutes. If you have enough privacy, you can even walk around in your underwear at home. Find the features you are most proud of and accentuate them, trying to be as relaxed and confident as you can.

Learn more about body language and sex

The way you feel is reflected to the world through more than just facial expressions – the way you hold your body, your gestures, tone of voice, eye contact – they can all affect the impression you leave on people. Just adopting a confident posture can affect the way you feel. Learn a few things about confident body language if you want to improve your sex appeal. Being nervous about sexual intercourse can kill your confidence, and it usually stems from a simple lack of knowledge on the subject. No one was born a sex God – everyone has to learn how to have good sex, just like any other skill. Getting the right information and practicing with a loving partner can save you a lot of trouble and make you feel more confident about initiating sex. Find out which positions work best for the both of you, engage in oral sex, try something unconventional and work on your technique and stamina.

Adopt a sexy alter-ego in the bedroom

This is a fairly simple, yet effective trick you can use to boost your confidence in the bedroom. Imagine that you are a superhero or secret agent who has to pretend to be just another average Joe during the day, but once you are alone with your partner, you can reveal your true form – a suave, erotic creature with an air of primal animalistic sexuality around it. This creature is confident, knows what it wants, knows how to please their sexual partner and looks stunning. You can let your imagination run wild on this one. Any fantasy will do, just as long as you are able to channel that unbridled sexual energy.

Be open with your partner and let them teach you what they like

In the end, you need to understand that every person is different. No matter how good you are and how much previous experience you have with a multitude of different partners, you will still need to learn all about your current partner’s turn-ons, turn-offs, and sexual preferences. You can get an initial idea about these things through extensive foreplay, but you will need to communicate with your partner to find out how and where they like to be touched, how rough they like to get, if they enjoy biting and scratching, etc.

They might also feel like trying out something new in the heat of the moment, so don’t be afraid to ask a question and gauge their reactions to what you are doing.  Knowing what your partner likes and having confidence in your “moves” will help you stay relaxed and focused on having fun instead of over thinking things and succumbing to anxiety. You want to be in a state of pleasure when you are with your partner, as they will easily pick up on any tenseness or anxiety on your part, and the fact that you are not enjoying yourself may be a big turn off. See also our article on tips to increase her pleasure.

You may not be a fitness model, but you can make yourself feel and act as confidently as one. A little bit of work put into developing your body and mind can go a long way, so stay positive and try to improve slowly over time.