One afternoon on my way home from school when I was 16, I was stuck behind a massive highway accident long enough to try masturbating (for the first time) with a vibrating caterpillar my brother got in a Happy Meal. I came literally right as the road cleared up. I continued to use the caterpillar whenever I was stuck in traffic before investing in a real vibrator (which, to be honest, didn’t do the job any better). I’m lovin’ it, am I right?!
