A Beginner’s Guide To BDSM

Many couples tend to get bored after doing the same thing in the bedroom every single time they want to have sexual intercourse and that is why some of these couples try BDSM. Some people say the letters simply stand for Bondage and Discipline (B&D) and Sadism and Masochism (S&M) while others say that there is an additional meaning for the two intermediate letters of Dominance and Submission (D/s). No matter the meaning behind the letters, however, all three of these things make up key components of BDSM. The important thing for any beginner to remember is that BDSM is incredibly variable and some people will enjoy the occasional role play while others see it as a lifestyle and engage in it fulltime.

Bondage And Discipline

One of the key components of BDSM is bondage and discipline. In many cases it will involve some sort of restraint and then “punishment.” These can vary greatly and many people who are “vanilla” (don’t engage in BDSM on a regular basis) will enjoy occasionally using handcuffs and/or blindfolds or giving their partner a spanking. Other couples prefer something a bit more extreme and will tie their partners up in intricate rope patterns and use other implements to punish them such as flogger.

Dominance And Submission

At any point when engaging in BDSM one partner will be in control of the situation and this person is referred to as the dominant. The other person is the submissive as they are in a more submissive role. As with bondage and discipline there is a wide range of possibilities as well and many vanilla couples will experiment. It is not unusual for a vanilla couple to occasionally role play with dominance and submission but some people will follow this power pattern all the time or some of the time. Some couples will also switch roles with one person being the dominant one time and the other playing the same role the next time.

Sadism And Masochism

Sadism and masochism is commonly the component of BDSM that scares vanilla couples away from trying something, even if it is mild. The sadism involves enjoying seeing your partner in pain or inflicting it and the masochism part means getting pleasure out of pain. Many couples will have a bit of pain mixed with pleasure in their sex lives and not even realize it such as lightly (or moderately) pinching nipples while some people prefer more pain. Some people who are into BDSM will become very aroused from being spanked or flogged but as with every other element, there is a wide range in terms of what people enjoy.

Safety

The important thing about BDSM is that everyone is happy with the results and everything is done in a safe manner. That is why people who practice it make it a point to be “safe, sane and consensual” meaning that no one is ever danger, everyone wants to participate and no one is impaired during it (such as being too drunk to control their actions).